


Hostile Territory

by KatieComma



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Consensual but awkward, F/M, First Time, Not Desi/Mac Endgame, Post Season 3, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-03-08 18:42:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18900427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieComma/pseuds/KatieComma
Summary: Mac and Desi have been circling each other for a while.The tension finally breaks, and it's not quite what Mac expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this piece USED to be "A Different Mission Altogether."

It was late. But Mac was up.

Changing time zones and sleeping on planes meant that his body thought it was about 7 PM instead of midnight.

So instead of retreating to his bed, which Mac had desperately missed, he started a fire on the deck and pulled out the project he’d been working on for Frankie: a DNA sequencer they’d designed together over many scattered video calls when both of them were free at the same time, which was rare. She knew what she wanted, knew how she wanted the machine to be improved, and Mac knew how to make it that way; with some experimentation and a lot of calculation. So he’d started schematics and-

The doorbell rang.

Mac sat up in the deck chair, where he’d been hunched over his drawings on the little table, and looked around wondering if he’d imagined the sound. Maybe he’d fallen asleep for a second.

The doorbell rang again.

Mac double checked his watch. Maybe it wasn’t as late as he thought? Nope, it was 12:30 AM local time.

When it rang the third time he knew he definitely wasn’t crazy or dreaming, and he hopped up, and ran to the door.

Desi stood on the other side, arms crossed, looking expectant.

“I thought you were all about leaving the door open for your friends,” she said with a grin.

“Well yeah,” Mac smiled back. “But not at midnight on a Thursday.”

“Is it only Thursday? Seems like the weekend, doesn’t it?” She didn’t let him answer, and instead pushed her way past him and into the house. She hopped up the stairs to the deck and stopped. “Where is everybody?”

Mac leaned in the doorway at the bottom of the stairs, still smiling. At least she was finally excited to be included as part of the gang. “Well, since it’s,” he dramatically checked his watch even though he knew the time, “12:34 AM on a Thursday, oh wait, that makes it Friday now… they’re probably at home asleep.”

“Normally after a mission ends…” she trailed off and looked at the lit fire and pile of papers on the little table next to the deck chair. “Everybody comes over here and has a few beers to unwind. I just thought…”

“Me and Boze were talking about it while you were asleep on the plane,” Mac said. “He’s coming over tomorrow, well, today now. He’s gonna do up some barbecue and everybody’s going to stop by.” Mac slowly walked up the stairs to the deck. One slow step at a time, like he was trying not to frighten a spooked animal. He’d spent so much time trying to get Desi to come out and hang with them, he hoped she wasn’t feeling embarrassed by this mix up. “I was going to invite you. But I was thinking I’d do that tomorrow…” He smiled, and corrected himself. “Today. Later today.”

“Oh,” Desi looked longingly at the fire. The light caught in her dark eyes. Oddly, it reminded him of Jack for a moment. Those dark eyes, seemingly soft and innocent, but with something deep there that Mac couldn’t read.

“Can’t sleep either huh?” Mac asked as he walked closer to her and the fire.

“You got me,” she smiled and shrugged, meeting his eyes. She held his gaze and there was a hard, cocky look in her eyes, like she was daring him to do something or say something in particular.

They’d been dancing around each other for a while now. Mac wasn’t exactly James Bond, master of seduction, always knowing exactly what to say. But there’d been some tension between the two of them for a while. Once Desi had warmed up to him, they’d started sharing laughter and jokes and looks. So while Mac wasn’t a suave ladies man, he also wasn’t stupid.

“Why don’t you stick around for a beer?” He asked. “Not like I’m not up already anyway.” _Wow Mac, way to make her feel wanted._ “I mean, if you wanted to stay, that’d be great. Keep me company.” _Not a solid recovery, but better._

“Sure,” Desi smiled, and it was that wide smile that he’d learned meant she was actually happy and enjoying herself, not the sly smile she’d used when they'd first met. It had come slowly, occasionally at first, until she finally let herself relax. And then they’d started seeing that smile all the time. Joking after missions, during their first game of truth or dare on a long jet ride home, and now when they were alone and he was asking her to stay. That had to be a good sign.

Mac suddenly realized he was still staring at her beaming face, and he awkwardly turned toward the stairs. “I’ll just… get some…” He didn’t finish but retreated to the kitchen instead, practically running. He grabbed a couple beers from the fridge before returning to the deck.

Mac sat down next to her, despite the empty bench around the fire pit. _Might as well be obvious about it._ He handed her the bottle and her fingers brushed his as she took it. Their eyes met, and he couldn’t help but let his eyes get drawn to her mouth that was slowly spreading back into the big happy smile.

“So, what’re you working on nerd?” She joked, motioning to the papers before taking a sip.

It broke the tension perfectly, but as she leaned forward on her knees, it reminded him so much of Jack that his chest felt tight.

Mac turned away from her and looked at the fire to get that thought right out of his head. Didn’t want to be thinking about your best friend while you were trying to… romance a girl? Is that what he thought he was doing? Truth was, he had no idea how to romance Desi. She seemed all tough and badass and unapproachable, but then she walked into his house in that pink lace dress, which showed off her chest tattoo in the best possible way and revealed all the soft curves of her body.

“Mac?” Desi asked, sounding concerned.

“Yeah, sorry,” Mac said, searching for an excuse. “Maybe I’m more tired than I thought.” _No! Not that! Any second she’d offer to-_

Her smile faded. “Maybe I should go…”

 _Crap._ “No, please stay,” Mac said, trying not to plead. “I’m just. Distracted.” Then before she could say anymore he turned back and looked at the papers. “I’m helping my friend Frankie build a DNA sequencer.”

“Isn’t that something that should be reserved for… I dunno… scientists?” She joked. “Like, actual scientists?”

“Hey,” he laughed, “I have an honorary degree.”

“Whatever, genius,” she laughed, sliding closer so she could jostle his shoulder with her own before she took a sip of her beer. When she lowered it she was looking at him intently, her smile different - almost sly.

They were close, her thigh pressed against his. Maybe all their dancing around each other was actually going to come to something.

“I never said thanks,” he said suddenly, trying to fill the awkward silence that was building between them.

“For what?” She asked, leaning a bit closer.

“Pulling all our asses out of the fire on this last one,” Mac said, sipping his beer to cover the heavy swallow that followed. And when had he adopted so many of Jack’s turns of phrase?

“Well,” Desi said slowly, still looking right at him, through him almost, “that’s my job, Mac.”

“That’s why you did it?” He asked, his voice suddenly lower. “Cause it’s your job?”

She was getting closer by the second. “Not the only reason,” she replied quietly, her eyes flicking between his eyes and lips. And, oh, did he want to taste her lips. Those wide generous lips that looked delicious. “Had to make sure you didn’t get your stupid ass hurt.”

With one more look at his lips she surged forward and kissed him hard. Mac distantly heard a bottle drop to the deck, but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered because Desi was pressed against him, her mouth open to his, sucking his tongue into her mouth and grabbing his face with her hands.

Before he knew what was happening she’d thrown a leg over him and was sitting in his lap, grinding her body down against him. Her fingers pressed into the skin around his jaw with bruising pressure, and her body writhed on top of him as she stole away all of his breath with the surprise of it all and her kisses.

When had he ever thought she was soft? Hard muscle pressed against him from everywhere; her fingertips would leave marks he was sure, and even her lips were on the attack. Not that it was bad. It was passion and fire and had him fully excited in moments.

Mac slid his hands up Desi’s back, one hadn’t sliding underneath her shirt and feeling the hot skin there. She was on fire.

Desi backed off for a second and took a gasped breath before she opened her mouth to him again, not giving him any time to speak or do more than take in some air himself.

Her hips ground down against him hard, all muscle and want and strength. Her fingers slipped up under the hem of his shirt and tickled at his stomach; nimble little fingers crawled up his body bringing his shirt with them.

Then her lips were gone again, and she was ripping the shirt off over his head before diving back into kissing him so hard their teeth clashed.

Maybe this was too fast, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to just jump into bed together. There was something to be said for the sweet beginnings of a relationship: making out and holding hands and going on dates. Mac pulled back, thinking that maybe they should talk a little. But when he tried to retreat from the kiss she bit his bottom lip hard and kept him there, growling possessively at him.

Something about the urgency, the need she seemed to have, turned him on. It was like passion he’d read about in books, so strong that people lost themselves in it. And Desi was definitely losing it on top of him. Moaning, she settled against his hips and caused such perfect hard friction as she shifted back and forth.

Finally Mac did pull back. This wasn’t something to take lightly. They worked together. He had to make sure they were on the same page. This wouldn’t be a one night stand for him. But what if that was all she wanted?

“What?” She asked, frustrated as she sat back, but didn’t leave his lap.

“Are you… is this…” he was still winded. “I just need to know what’s going on here.”

“What’s going on here is that I need you Mac,” she said playfully, fingers teasing at his lips where she’d bitten him. “God I need you bad. Seems like you need me too,” she wiggled her hips and sent a bolt of pleasure through him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to slow down?” Mac asked, one hand still on the hot skin of her lower back.

“I think we’ve moved slow enough,” she replied, “considering I’ve been wanting you inside me since before I wore that stupid pink dress over here.” Her face was close, hair falling into her eyes, which were almost glowing with excitement.

“I liked that 'stupid' dress,” Mac replied playfully with a grin.

“I know,” she smiled back, “that’s why I wore it.” Then she pushed him hard and he fell back onto the deck. Straddling his lap, she loomed over him and pulled her shirt off, throwing it to the deck. “If you’re nice I’ll wear it when you take me out.”

And there is was, those words that indicated more, and that beautiful chest tattoo that he was so fascinated with. The ebb and flow of colour that moved with the contours of her heaving chest. Mac wanted to kiss every inch of that tattoo. And then she reached behind, undid the clasp of her bra and threw it to the ground before she fell back on top of him like he was prey.

His bruised bottom lip hurt as she attacked him with her mouth, and he groaned the pain away as she shifted and rubbed against him in such a perfect way.

Her fingers trailed down to his belt and started deftly unfastening the buckle. She pulled back and stood up, ready to remove the rest of his clothes right there. And, though the sight of her topless was enough to make any guys speechless, Mac ignored that feelings, stood up and took her wrist to stop her.

“Why don’t we go inside,” he suggested, stepping close to her and wrapping his arms around her body. Her breasts pressed against his chest, warm and soft.

She grinned up at him. “Point the way to the bedroom.”

They were barely through his bedroom door when she pushed him against the wall and finished removing the rest of his clothes. Then she pressed against him, kissing him again. Mac’s hands strayed up to her hair, digging his fingers into the soft strands. Desi groaned into his mouth and pressed into the touch. He gripped her hair a little tighter. She kicked off her boots, and her hands fumbled with her pants, knuckles brushing against him in places that hadn’t been touched by someone in too long.

Mac broke the kiss and moaned into the air, sounding pathetic and needy and desperate. He didn’t care.

“So sensitive,” she teased, just this side of cruel.

The sound of her pants hitting the floor with a thunk indicated she probably had at least one knife in the pockets. Something about the danger of her amped him up even more.

Then she reached between them and wrapped a hand around him in a tight grip, using quick fast strokes that weren’t a good idea if she wanted anything more from him.

Mac grabbed her wrist. “Wait, stop,” he gasped, looking down into her face. It was all mischievous smile and arousal sparkling in her eyes.

“Make me,” she dared, grin growing wider as she fought against him and continued the tight strokes.

Mac leaned back into the wall, moaned obscenely and pulled her hand away.

She used his grip on her wrist to drag him toward the bed.

He needed time to calm down a little, bring his body back down. All he wanted was to touch and feel her body and see what kind of noises he could coax out of her while he tried to get himself under control.

Instead, she pushed him down on the bed.

“Condoms?” She asked. Without waiting for an answer she pulled open the bedside drawer and found one. She ripped it open, and with no more preamble, crawled onto the bed and rolled it down over him. Then she took him in hand, threw a leg over him and sank down onto him, her mouth open wide, eyes closed and a low moan rising out of her.

Hot, tight and so wet considering there hadn’t really been any foreplay, Mac was overwhelmed with sensation. With no time to adjust to the feeling, Desi moved on top of him. Fast and hard, she set an impossible pace to maintain.

Mac tried to centre himself, think thoughts that would keep him from coming too quickly. He slid his hands from her knees up her thighs to her hips, trying to slow her pace with his strength, but she fought him.

Instead of slowing her, his resistance seemed to spur her on, and she moved faster. She slipped a hand down her stomach to slide between her legs and the noises she made when she started rolling those fingers around, filled Mac’s bedroom.

The sounds turned into words that echoed across the walls. “Come on Mac! Come on! Harder! God, harder!” She looked down at him and he could see the need and craving in her eyes.

Mac gave in finally, using his hands to pull her still harder and faster down onto him, tensing his hips and legs to meet her with firm resistance that made her scream. It seemed to be exactly what she wanted.

He watched her writhe on top of him. Watched the beautiful tattoo shift and heave with every noise and word that came out of her; once the scream faded it was his name interspersed with “Yes, harder, faster,” all running into each other until they became one long string of nonsense.

There was another tattoo down her hip on the right side, and he gripped his fingers hard into it. Her muscles shifted in the most beautiful way, tensing and relaxing with every rise and fall of her body, and her breasts bounced with her movements making Mac wish he could lay her down and kiss and lick all around them. But that wasn’t in the cards.

Desi called out, her body shaking and shivering with sensation as she came. She fell forward, hands planted on either side of Mac as she shuddered and tightened around him.

That was all Mac needed, and it sent him over the edge, groaning and wrapping his arms around Desi to pull her against his body in a slippery, sweaty hug.

“Holy shit… Desi,” he groaned into her chest. Face planted directly into that wonderful tattoo.

She pulled back in his arms and looked down, that grin on her face again. “Holy shit yourself,” she smiled before she rolled off of him and out of his embrace.

He sat up on his elbow and watched her walk to the bathroom, feet making sticky sound across his floor, her bum jiggling pleasantly with every step.

While she was gone, Mac removed the condom, cleaned himself up and then crawled under the covers to wait for her to come back and crawl in with him. Sure their first time had been hot and quick, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t share a little tenderness afterwards.

Desi came back into the room, hair combed, and searched the floor for something until she found her pants. She pulled them on, sat on the corner of the bed and slipped her boots on, retying the laces.

She was leaving?

Mac’s brain was still addled from the hard, fast, mind blowing quickie they’d just had, but he still knew that the girl not wanting to stick around for cuddles meant she probably wasn’t interested in more than the sex. He wanted to ask her something, but his mind was blank.

She got up and went onto the deck, he watched her through the big windows as she slipped her bra back on and pulled her t-shirt over her head.

When she came back inside she brought Mac’s t-shirt with her and dropped it on top of his pants when she poked her head in the door.

“I’m gonna take off,” she said as though they’d just been hanging out and having beers and nothing more had happened.

Mac’s chest felt like it was going to cave in. Why hadn’t he stopped her? Asked her to talk first, and make sure they were in the same place? Wanted the same things?

“Desi?” Mac called out as she turned to go, and he coughed a little to cover how pathetic it sounded.

“Yeah?” She asked, leaning in the doorway to his room, as though she was afraid to step through it. But the smile she had on was her happy smile. Well, of course it was, she just got laid.

Mac didn’t know what to say. He wanted to say the most desperate, stupid, needy things like: “Stay,” or: “Do you care about me?” Or a million other things that would be a bad idea. Instead he settled on: “You’re coming tomorrow, right?” He hoped she could read what he was really asking.

The smile grew wider, baring all of her teeth, and now that he’d seen her wilder side it looked almost predatory. “Of course,” she said, and her voice got softer, “wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She shot him a quick wink before she was gone.

Mac lay back in the pillows, and oddly enough, thought about Jack. This girl was turning him in circles, and he had a feeling he was only going to get more and more dizzy. He wished he had his best friend to talk to about it. His best friend who knew this girl from before, and could probably provide some insight. But Jack was all the way around the world, and he’d sent Desi to Mac. If Jack had sent her, maybe it was meant to be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desi comes over for a fireside night with the team, and sticks around after everyone's gone.
> 
> Mac starts to really think about their fledgeling relationship.

When Desi didn’t show up right away, Mac got nervous. Maybe it had just been a one night stand for her, despite what she’d said. Maybe she’d only committed to something more to get him into bed. Maybe-

“You alright Mac?” Riley’s asked, her concern breaking through his worry.

“Yeah, of course, I’m fine,” Mac replied with a forced smile. “Why?”

Riley’s eyebrow went up. “Because you’ve been chopping that same onion for about twenty minutes, and it’s pretty much mush.”

Mac looked down at the cutting board and realized she was right. “I’m sure it’ll be ok,” he said. “Bozer said he was going to use it for the sauce.”

“Are you crazy?” Riley asked. “Bozer once asked me to dice a carrot for him and kicked me out of the kitchen when the pieces weren’t uniform in size.”

Mac sighed and grabbed another onion. He started to chop again, trying to concentrate on what he was doing and not get wrapped up in his worries.

“What’s going on with you today Mac?” Riley asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been distracted since we got here,” she said. “And quieter then normal.”

“Well I’m not normally a chatterbox. I’m not exactly-” he almost said “Jack,” but stopped himself short. And that pain came back, the pain in his chest that made it hard to breath for a second when he thought about his best friend halfway across the world doing god knew what.

“See, there you go again,” Riley said. She took the knife from his fingers and set it on the counter. “I’m thinking we should maybe stay away from sharp pointy things when you’re this distracted.”

Mac didn’t have the heart to tell Riley that he was suddenly thinking about Jack. Not after her admission when Billy left; about how much she missed Jack, how he had been her rock. He’d been Mac’s rock too, and the last thing they needed was to get all emotional about it right before having a party. So he wracked his brain for some lie, something small to tell her that would change the subject without bringing down the mood anymore than it already was.

Riley looked at him expectantly, but before he could think of anything, the sound of Desi’s bike revving up the driveway reached them.

Mac grinned. “I should…” he trailed off.

Riley rolled her eyes at him, but waved him toward the door. She wasn’t stupid, and he knew she’d seen what had been slowly building up between him and Desi; encouraged it, even.

Mac opened the door to find Desi throwing a leg over her bike and propping it on its stand. She pulled off the helmet and left it on the seat before turning to Mac. Her hair was wild with static from being inside the helmet, and her leather jacket was zipped down enough to show off her tattoo.

“Hey hot stuff,” she said before pushing past him.

Well that… wasn’t what he’d been expecting. Her late arrival had made him nervous, made him second guess everything. But she’d tipped it all upside down with that casually familiar greeting.

Mac just stared after her, door still open. The tight jeans she wore accentuated her round body, and his mind flipped back to the night before, watching her walk across his bedroom nude. The way her curves bounced and jiggled despite her prevalent muscle. Even with the staticky hair floating around in all directions she was still a sight to behold.

“No wonder it’s so easy for people to break in here and turn your house into a bomb,” Matty’s said from the doorway.

Mac jumped and turned his attention to the front door.

“When you leave your door wide open for just any riffraff to walk in,” Matty smiled as she walked over the the threshold.

“Yeah, yeah, come in,” Mac said as he closed the door behind her.

“What has you so captivated anyway…” Matty trailed off when she looked in the direction of the kitchen and saw Desi standing with Riley. “Ahhh…”

“Now, what is that supposed to mean?” Mac asked as they walked toward the deck, leaving the girls in the kitchen. Everyone would find their way onto the deck eventually anyway, since Mac didn’t have a dining room or a table to eat at.

“I’ve been wondering when that shoe is going to drop,” Matty said, making her way to the fire pit to sit down. “You know it’s fine, right? I mean, I wouldn’t have hired Leanna if I wasn’t ok with people dating within the team.”

Mac felt awkward. He hated being called out on stuff like this. But what was he supposed to say now that it had happened? He didn’t want to deny it and hurt Desi’s feelings, like he was trying to hide their relationship. But they hadn’t talked about it. Did she want it out in the open?

“Quit overthinking everything and sit down blondie,” Matty said, patting the deck beside her.

Mac obeyed, not out of habit of following her orders, but because he really just wanted to talk to someone about it.

“Look, I know you haven’t had the best of luck in relationships, well, ever,” Matty said with her usual lack of tact, “but sometimes you’ve just gotta jump right back in and see where you land.”

Mac smiled, and the words left his mouth before he could check himself. “I guess we’ve both had our fair share of bad luck in love.” He regretted it immediately when her smile was clouded over by pain for a moment. When it came back, it wasn’t a true smile anymore, it was tainted with memory. He jumped to try to fill the awful silence between them. “And I did jump,” he sighed, “but I haven’t quite landed yet, so I’m not sure what the terrain’s like.”

Matty’s smile warmed again. “In that case, you should definitely get me a beer cause this is going to be an interesting night.”

 

 

Hours later Mac lay looking at the ceiling of his bedroom, almost sated, but something was missing.

After everyone else had left, Desi had lingered, her intentions very clear from the way her hands grabbed at him possessively.

They’d rushed to his bedroom, and things had gone much the same way they had the night before: Mac wanting, and Desi taking.

It had held the same awkwardness of their first night together: how do I tell her what I want when we’re so caught up in what’s happening? Again, it wasn’t that it wasn’t good. But Mac wanted something slower, he wanted to taste and touch and draw it out long and sensual; make it about more than just getting off.

Mac consoled himself with the thought that things would be different once they’d been out on a few dates together. At this point they were still feeling out the change in relationship from coworkers and friends to lovers. Maybe once that transition had been made, things would fall into place and they could lay in bed in each other’s arms for hours on end.

Mac waited, looking up at the ceiling of his bedroom, while Desi lingered in the bathroom like she had the previous night, his thoughts on cuddling and holding. All he wanted was for her to stay. And he had been repeating words over and over in his head all night; things he would say if she tried to just leave again: “Desi, stay here tonight.” In his head it sounded like a casual offer, like he was saying: “it’s late, and dark, why don’t you just crash with me.” But dread coiled in his stomach that the words would come out needy and desperate and that she would change her mind about the whole situation.

Desi’s feet slapped across the tile floor of his ensuite, and carried her back into his bedroom. She was still naked, her clothes tossed around Mac’s room here and there; she undressed like a tornado.

Mac’s words were prepared, about to trip off his tongue, because he was sure that she was going to start picking up shirt and jacket and socks and bolt for the exit.

Instead, she came to the bed, threw back the covers and crawled in.

Mac was stunned, he’d been so sure she’d leave again. He lay in the middle of the bed, taut and still, and the words that tumbled out of his mouth didn’t go through any filter first: “You’re staying?” There was too much shock in it to be happiness.

Desi turned toward him in the bed, shifting the springs. “Yeah, if that’s ok?” Her voice was so unsure, it was strange to hear such lack of confidence coming from her.

“Oh yeah, of course,” Mac stammered, “I was hoping you would.”

She smiled at him and turned on her side, her back to him as she curled up for sleep. “Wanna grab the lights genius?”

“Right, sure,” Mac replied. Why did he always feel so awkward around her? It was like he couldn’t get comfortable, never felt like he could really be himself; always wondering what she wanted and how he could be that for her.

He crawled out of bed and hit the lights, before slipping back under the covers.

With her turned away from him, her breathing starting to slow, he wondered if he should try to put an arm around her or get close. Experience from living and sleeping close quarters with Jack throughout their friendship had taught Mac that it was never a good idea to startle a soldier while they were asleep. So he opted for another approach. She couldn’t be that far under anyway, it had only been a few minutes.

“Desi?” He ventured, moving a little closer to her body in the bed. The heat radiating from her was soothing. He’d only felt her tensed body under his fingertips so far and he wondered what she would feel like relaxed, muscles put away, all curving roundness and long shallow breaths.

“Mmmhmm?” She ventured, already sounding more than half asleep.

“Do you mind if I…” He shimmied a little closer under the blankets.

Desi suddenly rolled onto her back. “I’m not really a cuddler Mac,” she admitted, yawning. “Plus your hands are always so damn cold.”

“Oh, right,” Mac twisted his hands together suddenly. She wasn’t wrong, he’d always run a little cold. Jack had complained about it more times than Mac could remember. How many times had Jack surrendered his precious leather coat to Mac to keep him warm? More times than Mac could remember. It was such a regular occurrence that he couldn't remember the first time anymore. “Yeah, of course.” He returned to his own side of the bed, and she curled up away from him again.

“Night Mac,” she said softly.

He tried not to let his disappointment leak into his tone. “Night Desi.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few weeks of stolen moments together, Mac and Desi get to go on a real date... and things don't go quite according to Mac's plan.

Three weeks later they finally went out on a real date.

Three long weeks of mission after mission; late night quickies and night’s spent sharing a bed, but not cuddling.

There just hadn’t been time for romance.

Mac was just starting to think that he’d never be able to have a life or a relationship outside of storage closets when things calmed down and they had the foreseeable future off; free of predictable crises.

So Mac did his best to make a real night of it. He took Desi out to some fancy restaurant that they only got into because Riley hacked the reservation system and bumped someone else. And Desi dressed up for him: whole nine yards, even that pink lacy dress he’d seen her in before; the one that showed off her chest tattoo in the best way, and that kept Mac thinking about things other than his entrees during dinner. 

After they finished their delicious, yet small, portions of hipster-chic food, Mac drove her back to his place. There wasn’t a question anymore; no gentlemanly respect he needed to extend. They’d had a lot of sex here and there over the past few weeks, despite their lack of dates, and they’d become comfortable and familiar with this part.

Desi tried to pull him in hard when they got to the door. 

“Wait, wait,” he requested, while she grabbed at his tie and almost choked him. “Inside.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” She asked with a quirked eyebrow before letting go of his tie.

He opened the door and pushed her ahead of him, where she stopped dead.

In typical over-the-top romantic fashion, the house was warmly lit, flower petals strewn across the floor leading to the bedroom. Mac had set it all up carefully before they’d left. He’d even rigged up an ice bucket in the bedroom to keep the bottle of champagne cold all night until they got home. Everything was ready for a slow, romantic evening.

“Look at you and your romantic self,” Desi joked as she walked toward the bedroom, impaling petals with her deadly heels. “You coming or what, lover boy?”

Mac closed the door behind him and made sure to lock it. Everyone was so comfortable always walking in, and he didn’t want them to be disturbed. 

He slipped his jacket off and hung it on the coat rack in the entryway. The anticipation of the night ahead of him coiled in his stomach pleasantly like drunk butterflies. He smiled to himself and walked to the bedroom.

Desi lay on the bed, her dress pulled high up her thighs, legs spread almost obscenely amid the romantic setting: candle light, champagne bottle and glasses, and flower petals everywhere. He’d even made a point of getting flowers that matched her tattoos: carnations and lilies and roses.

“What are you waiting for?” She asked, eyes drowsy with excitement.

“It’s not against the law for me to look, is it?” He asked saucily as he made his way across the room.

He tickled at the tops of her feet, and then knelt on the end of the bed, leaning over to kiss her calves and her knee caps.

“Alright, enough of the leg fetish,” she growled. “Get up here already.”

Mac smiled and crawled up the bed.

She pulled him down hard into a kiss, reaching around and gripping his ass hard to pull him against her. “Now rip this dress off me already and let’s get it on,” she demanded. “You’re wearing way too many layers right now.” She kissed him again, pushing up against him as she loosened his tie and ripped buttons from his shirt as she tried to get him out of it.

In a moment he was on his back and he couldn’t remember how he got there. She’d flipped him and now straddled him, rolling her hips on him in the most distracting way, while she opened his shirt and slid it off. She started working on his belt.

Mac reached around to get at the zipper of her dress.

She pulled back. “I wasn’t joking when I said I wanted you to rip it off me Mac,” she chastised.

“But I like this dress,” Mac said, trying to sound flirtatious as he put a hand to the tattoos displayed by the neckline and traced the lines.

Desi grabbed the hem and ripped at the seam running up her thigh, it gave under her fingers. “Well, it’s ruined now,” she said, “might as well get on with it.” She leaned down and kissed him again, all messy and wet and urgent. She grabbed Mac’s hands and moved them to the rip in her dress before her own fingers returned to his pants to finish opening his belt.

It seemed to be something she desperately wanted, and the dress was already ruined, so he ripped at the fabric which was harder to tear than she’d made it look. But he finally got the seam to give and it ripped all the way up the side until she could slip out of it. Their lips stayed locked together while he slid his hands back down from her bra to her ribcage over hips to find that she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

At that same moment she pulled him free of his pants, not bothering to even remove them all the way and shimmied her hips forward, ready to slide down on top of him.

It was Mac’s turn to show his secret agent combat skills, and he easily flipped her over onto her back, pressing her down into the bed, and not letting her have what she wanted. He wasn’t ready for that. He’d had plans, had wanted things to move more slowly; soft kisses that built up toward the gentle losing of clothes, and kissing her body all over. And now here they were already mostly naked.

Desi laughed aloud, her eyes on fire as she stared up from underneath him. He held her hands to the mattress.

“Didn’t realize you were such a tease Mac.” She wiggled underneath him, obviously trying to get a response from him. Spur him to action.

He didn’t take the bait. Instead he bent over and kissed at her neck, and trailed his lips lower to her collarbone and then the tattoo on her chest. He wanted to trace every line with his tongue until she was writhing underneath him.

Instead, she sighed, in a way that sounded vaguely bored. Mac looked up at her, and she _looked_ bored: head laid loosely back in the pillows, her eyes watching the ceiling in a way that was distant, like she was making a grocery list or trying to remember the details of her last after action report.

Mac kissed lower, tracing the lines of her abdomen and not eliciting any kind of exciting response like he had hoped. And then he went lower and made to settle between her thighs and really taste her body when she finally made a move.

“It’s cool,” she said. “You don’t have to.” She grabbed at his wrist and tried to pull him back up toward her.

“But I want to,” he said with, what he hoped, was a charming smile. “I really, really want to.”

Here was where he could pull this night back up. He could reignite the romance and make things so good for her. It was all he wanted.

“No seriously,” and she was serious. “Please don’t.”

And then he thought that maybe there was some trauma there. He needed to listen to her, because maybe a bad experience had made this not something enjoyable for her. He tried not to jump back like he’d been burned, instead he crawled back up her body like she obviously wanted him to.

“It’s never been my thing,” she said by way of explanation.

Mac kissed her softly on the cheek, hoping to lull away any uncomfortableness between them.

“I’ve just never liked it,” she said.

Mac’s pants had slid down and were awkwardly tangled around his legs. He slid them off, his boxers too, and kicked them to the floor.

“That’s ok,” he said softly, kissing her gently again. He moved his body against her slow. He was so hard and he wanted her so badly, but for him the romance and the intensity brought about by drawing things out would be beautiful and wonderful and make things feel so much better. So he concentrated on keeping his body moving slow.

But he was so concentrated on moving slow, that he didn’t notice that she wasn’t kissing him back anymore.

Mac pushed up on his elbows. “You ok?” He asked.

Desi looked him square in the face. “Not really,” she said blatantly.

“Woah, ok,” Mac said, unsure what he’d done wrong. She’d been really excited when they’d gotten home, and had been making suggestive comments all through dinner. He rolled off her to the side and set a hand gently on her stomach.

She rolled to face him and propped her head on her hand. “Listen Mac, I get what you’re trying to do here,” she waved around at the room. “With all this romance shit. But I’m not the kinda girl who needs stuff like that. I’m a hard and fast and rough every day of the week kinda gal.”

But what if that’s what he wanted? Needed? Romance…

She didn’t give him a chance to respond, not that he knew what to say. “These last few weeks were awesome, I kinda thought I hit the jackpot. Hot and dirty with you at night, fighting side by side during the day. Match made in heaven, right?”

Maybe not. Not if he didn’t want the same things as her.

“So, seriously, you don’t have to worry about all this romance garbage…” She trailed off as she scanned his face, and her casual face twisted into concern and sympathy. “Oh Christ, I’m sorry. There I go again, running my mouth off.” She looked him up and down, no doubt noticing by now that he’d lost his excitement entirely. “I think we need to talk Mac.”

 

 

Mac had dressed quickly, wanting to get out of that room. He’d had sex with Desi about a dozen times or more over the last few weeks, and yet in that moment he’d felt so vulnerable in ways he hadn’t when he’d been naked with her.

So he’d dressed, and gone to the living room to wait for her. Sitting on the couch, head in his hands, thinking he was an idiot. What kinda guy would turn down a girl like Desi because she wants hard, rough sex all the time? What guy wouldn’t jump at the chance to slam her against walls and have his way?

And sure, that was fun sometimes. But not every time. Not if they lasted long enough to have an anniversary. Not on the days when he came home from a mission that had emotionally drained him and he wanted soft, sweet loving. Not most days for him, if he was totally honest. Fulfilling carnal desires and desires of the heart were totally separate things for him. And they could come together, but not the way they’d been having sex. Not rough, and hard, and fast the way they’d been doing it.

It made him feel like less of a man suddenly, to want to break up with a girl for that reason. Because she wasn’t romantic enough for him. And then he shook his head and knew he was being stupid. There was nothing wrong with wanting romance, wanting to feel loved in that way. And yet the expectations of society leeched into his brain and made it impossible to feel like he wasn’t being an idiot. Like, he should just shut up and fuck his girlfriend hard like she wanted and forget what he wanted.

Desi walked into the room wearing his sweats, tied so tied at the waist they looked ridiculous, and rolled up to her calves, and one of his t-shirts, that was actually one of Jack’s; it draped over her little frame like a tent. She’d needed other clothes, her dress had been literally ripped in half. She was carrying the champagne, dripping with condensation, and the two flutes.

“I’m sorry about your dress,” he said again, though he knew it was stupid.

“Don’t be stupid boyscout,” she chided with a grin, “I told you to rip it. I actually ripped it first myself.” 

She set the sweating bottle down, and the two glasses, and immediately popped the cork from the bottle deftly, pouring the bubbly wine out for both of them and handing him a glass. She sat back against the cushions, legs casually sprawled in front of her, one knee up on the couch so she could turn to Mac, holding the glass of champagne in front of her and looking at him thoughtfully.

“A toast?” She proposed.

“To what?” Mac gulped, unsure where she was going with this.

Her face went serious. “To always being friends no matter what.” She held her glass up, waiting for him to clink in agreement.

He did, and they sipped together.

“Now that we’ve agreed to be friends no matter what, I think we need to break up,” she said bluntly.

Mac heaved a sigh, and he realized it was relief. He loved Desi as a friend, she’d easily become one of their little family. But he just couldn’t be in a relationship with someone and not be sexually compatible with them. It just didn’t work. Not for him, when sex and romance and love were all so linked together. And not even just the sex, but Desi didn’t even seem to enjoy casual touching like cuddling or things like that. And he needed those things. Needed that touch and warmth from the person he loved. And that’s when he realized that he knew he couldn’t love Desi like that for all of those reasons.

Even though he was relieved, it hurt too. Because he did want it to have been her. Just like he did when he started a relationship with anyone. He didn’t start it with the intent to eventually break up. He started into every relationship with the goal of finding his soul mate, the person who would complete him and hold him, and let themselves be held back.

“Ok, good,” she said.

Mac looked up sharply. Had he missed something she’d said? “What?”

Desi was taking a long sip from her glass, finishing it off actually. “You’re on the same page. You want to break up too,” she said simply, reaching for the bottle and refilling her glass.

And then his brain moved from mourning back to friendship, and he threw back the glass of champagne, and holding it out for her to refill. “You’ve only known me for a few months, you really think you can read me that well?”

And here was the opportunity for things to be awkward. If they were going to make the switch back to friends, they had to keep this separate, this relationship they’d shared for a few weeks had to become firmly part of the past and, not forgotten, but left behind. Here was the opportunity for her to say something crude like: “I’ve had you inside me, I think I can tell what you’re thinking.”

“Of course,” she smiled slyly. “You’re my partner. I make it my business to know what you’re thinking.” Then she winked. “Plus you let out this huge sigh of relief like someone just told you the world wasn’t going to end.”

Mac laughed, and it felt good to laugh. And somehow they’d done it. Flicked that switch from lovers back to friends. And it didn’t feel weird. It felt right.

“So, what say we polish of this bottle of champagne and watch some bad movies?” She asked, tilting her glass toward him again.

“I can drink to that,” he said, touching her glass with his own and then downing the bubbly liquid.

Desi nodded approvingly and poured them both fresh glasses.

One day Mac would find the right person. Sure, it wasn't Desi, but that was ok. How would they know if they hadn't tried?

Now all Mac had to do, was go out and find them. That perfect, loving person waiting out there to complete him.

And if that wasn't the biggest challenge he'd ever been faced with, Mac didn't know what was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter I had intended to end the ENTIRE thing with... however... I'm going to tack on a MacDalton chapter... because I'm me. SOOO... if you don't ship MacDalton you can ABSOLUTELY stop reading here and you're good. Mac will be happy one day. One day he'll find the person for him... and that's all you need worry about... but if you're cool with MacDalton I would read the next one.


End file.
